I thought recycling was supposed to be good?

Because I'm pretty sure it's going to be the downfall of my marriage. Zach has minimal jobs around the house. Pretty much all he has to do is change the kitty litter, and take out the garbage and the recycling.

We're going to Mexico on Friday and we have housesitters coming to stay with the kitties. So I'm cleaning like mad so it looks like my house is always neat and tidy. I go to take out some recycling, and low and behold, the bin is full...and it's recycling day. Now when I say bin, I don't mean a rubbermaid tub.

I mean the wood bin that Zach built that holds 5 of those giant blue boxes (the ones we aren't allowed to use anymore that are about 2.5 feet tall). The bin is so full, that the lid won't lay flat. Clearly, the recycling hasn't been taken out for, oh about three months.

So I look at my watch and realize I have about two hours before the recycling douches come (I have a love hate relationship with the recycling guys. I love that they pick up the recycling by the curb, but I hate pretty much everything else about them. If you looked up douche bag in the dictionary, their picture would be there).

Anyway, back to the story. I run in (still in my pj's), give Jude a bottle and put him down. I know I have 1 hour, 45 minutes to get the recycling down to the street. Keep in mind there's almost an acre between our house and the street, and the truck has the camper on it so I can't use to haul all this shit down there.

I spend the next hour sorting it all out (because in addition to it being full, it's also not sorted at all. It's not even in the bins, just tossed in there). I fit it all in random cardboard boxes and the two smaller containers that they'll take.

I have a few last pieces of cardboard, and I jam them in the big container, thinking maybe out of the kindness of their heart, they'll take them, even though they're in the wrong container (I thought wrong). I get all this shit off the porch and our landlord comes and saves the day. He offered to take them to the curb in his truck, thus saving me hauling 7 containers of recycling to the curb (I'm still in my pj's and now I'm sweating like a pig).

I go back inside to hear Jude hollering at the top of his lungs. He'd clearly been awake for a while and was not impressed that I hadn't come to get him up. So now I'm standing in the kitchen, sweat running down my face, my pjs are filthy, I smell like a bottle depot and I'm holding a crying baby and now the phone is ringing.

It's Zach.

him "watcha doing?"

me "wondering how I'll be able to afford to live when I divorce you...did you forget (again) that it's recycling day????

He will now owe me for months, and if he forgets to take it out again, I might forget to make dinner for a few weeks :)

He's lucky he's cute

Tuesday's Grievance

people who buy Expeditions (or other ridiculous and uselessly giant vehicles), should all be forced to sign a waiver saying that if they part their house sized SUV in a small car spot, they will forfeit their right to own it, and it will be seized.

*this note is directed to the douche bag who parked next to me at Blockbuster, thereby making it impossible to get Jude out of the car*

*disclaimer* this is not said douche bags car, but this picture did make me giggle

A bit off topic...

but I need some baby advice. I want to cut out the night time bottle. Jude is almost 10 months, and I go back to work in 2 weeks and I'm not too into getting up with him anymore. Plus I'm sure he's eating it out of habit and not needing it. But I'm also going to have to break Zach of the bottle habit. He's as adicted to giving Jude a bottle as Jude is to getting one.

Last night it was Zach's turn to get up with him and he ate three freaking bottles in the night! I couldn't believe it when I got up this morning and saw all the empties lined up.

Plus heating up bottles in the night in Mexico is going to be a pain in the ass.

So any suggestions? He just woke up (after being in bed for about an hour) and screamed his head off so I gave him some water in a bottle and that seemed to work (and he only drank 2 ounces as opposed to the 20 ounces he drank last night).

It's just so hard to say no to this face

I'm hooked...

on hiking. Jude got a baby backpack and I'm finding it's great to go out with him in it. He's happy to sit in there for a long time and just look around.
I'm not into doing anything giant (like Mt Finlayson), but I'm interested in finding new places to go with him. I usually have to go alone so no where scary.

Where do you hike?

Maybe getting back to normal will help

I have one great day when I'm totally on program, tracking everything, getting lots of exercise...then 2 weeks of being totally off the wagon.

Now it's a week until we arrive in Mexico, and I've only managed to lose about three pounds. I wanted to lose 20. But the new development is I'm going back to work as soon as we get back. Mexico is my last hurrah after being off work for almost 18 months.

I'm hoping having some sort of routine will maybe be the key to getting back on track. I know it's helped me in the past. I'm also hoping to try and start the couch potato to 5 km plan when I get back. When I used to run I had a much easier time losing weight. And now Jude is old enough to go in the jogging stroller, so that makes things a bit easier.

Plus my sister is doing the Victoria Marathon the day after we get back. Obviously I'm going to go and cheer her on, so I'm hoping seeing all those people do such an amazing run will also inspire me!

back on the wagon before the caravan leaves me behind

Who think I can lose 80 pounds in 7 weeks? *sigh* Me either.

I'm thinking maybe 20 if I work really hard. We're going to the Viva Wyndham Maya on the Mexican Mayan Riviera on Oct 3rd for 7 days. So I'd like to lose as much as I can.

I'm going back to my meetings next week and I'm going to ask to start again. I want a new book, all new material (that I might actually read this time), and I'm going to have a fresh start.

I toyed with the idea of doing it on my own, but I really think I need the accountability of meetings.

I'm also thinking that I might start running again next week. But that's going to depend on my back (which is still super sore from my fall).

Help me keep my ass in gear ladies!

Campin Was a Bust (in more ways than one)

We had a fabulous time. The weather was great, the campsite was amazing, we had our own private beach. We canoed and swam, and of course ate.

Jude went in his hiking backpack for the first time (here's a pic of my sister and I and our wee ones in their "packpacks", as Anna calls them).

Then, because I'm possibly the most accident prone person on earth, disaster struck. Let me premise this story by telling you about our camping stairs. We have a little rubbermaid stool that's very stable. So I asked Zach to bring it to use as the camper stairs, but for some reason he thought I wanted him to bring this rickety old wooden step ladder. This ladder was so rickety that the kids weren't allowed on it, and we didn't carry the kids into the camper. We went up first and got someone to pass them in. And thank god we did, because the last morning we were there, they broke just as I stepped on them off the tail gate.

The whole time we were there I went down them holding onto the handle on the back of the camper. But of course this time I had Jude's oatmeal in one hand and a bowl of yogurt in the other hand for Anna.

I fell about three feet and landed hard. I hit the ground without bracing myself, knocked myself out and then had a small seizure. When I tried to get up, my right leg was paralyzed and I had to pull on my PJ legs to move my leg and get help into a chair. I also wet myself when I had the seizure.

Of course we were three hours from home. And Zach was beside himself because he thought it was his fault for bringing the shoddy stairs (which of course it wasn't).

So we moved Jude's car seat into my sister and her husbands car and she took both babies home so we could go to the hospital once we got back to Victoria. But I started to feel better on the way home so we opted to just hit up the clinic.

Long story short, no long term damage was done. I have a giant goose egg on my head, but no broken ribs or anything. However, my back, shoulder and neck are killing me. Zach stayed home yesterday but he had to go back to work today, and my sister is coming over but not until after lunch. So Jude and I are fending for ourselves. I'm in quite a bit of pain, but he's being a really good boy and we'll manage until Alex and little Anna get here.

I'm just glad it happened at the end of the weekend.

But here are some pictures because I want to remember the great parts of the weekend before the fall.

Oh, and needless to say, I'm eating whatever is handy. There's no cooking going on in this house, and I won't be going to my meeting this week because getting Jude in and out of the car is too much for me. But next week I'll be there!










baby Jude enjoying some fresh air in his exersaucer










Anna loving the whistle on her new life jacket more than she loved her first canoe ride











Jude playing with Anna and Auntie Alex on the top bunk

Today's WI

clearly not counting points doesn't work. I was up 1 this morning, making my total loss 9.5 lbs...since January :(
I'm in a total funk. And now I'm starting to feel sick. I have a headache and feel like puking. Sadly for me, Jude doesn't care and still wants lunch :)

But we're going camping for the long weekend, which should hopefully be relaxing and fun...just what the doctor ordered.

So I'm off to the green grocer this afternoon to buy a bunch of fruit and veggies to take. It's too hot to eat so that should help with the whole "lifestyle change" thing this weekend.

I think I'm going to take a break

not from my blog, but from the GDT. I think it's making me anxious. There seems to be a lot of snarkiness and meanness on their the last few days, and it's not helping. In the words of Elle "this place is making me eat".

I'll keep writing here, but I think the GDT is toxic right now.

This is so hard

I'm having a really tough go of this right now. We eat out at other people's houses a lot. Last week it was 5 times. At home I can control myself...when we go out for appies for dinner, the gloves are off.

Plus I'm feeling like shit right now because my MS is acting up. My feet are so sore I can barely walk when I get up in the mornings. They're fine once I get going, but the first 10 minutes is agony. And if Jude wakes up crying in the night...I limp around the house getting a bottle ready and just want to cry. Couple that with my total exhaustion due to both the heat and stupid MS, and I'm about ready to quit.

Counting points is not high on my agenda of things that need to be done during the day. So for now, I'm going to keep going to my meetings, be mindful of what I eat, but go easy on myself until I go back to normal. It usually only takes a couple of weeks. So my goal for the next month is to maintain and not gain it all back.

Keep in check ladies!

A little NSV for me

We went shopping in Nanaimo yesterday. It's about 90 minutes away. We had lunch in the mall food court, which is usually super hard for me. And to make matters worse, they had Indian Food in the food court. We don't have any fast food curry in Victoria, and it's pretty much my favourite thing in the whole world.

I had a turkey sub from subway on whole wheat bread, and I'm compromising by making Better Butter Chicken from ESBM for dinner tonight instead.

Yay me!

Stupid Fucking Weigh In

errrr. I was up. Luckily I've decided not to kill myself.

I was good this week. A couple of slip ups on Sunday when I went to a friends house for girls night and ate my weight in appies.

Then last night hit. I went to my parents for dinner. BBQ'd chicken and salads. I can cope with that.

Well, the BBQ broke. So we had to cook everything in the oven, including the veggies I was roasting and it took forever. It was after 9 when we ate. And of course by then I was starving and I ate too much.

I was up 2.8 fucking pounds this morning. I know it was because of last night, but it's so disappointing when I finally get back on track and then have such a huge gain. It's the biggest gain I've ever had, even on the weeks when I wasn't counting points at all.

It's very disheartening. But I'm back at it. Tomorrow is another week.

Weighing In Before Weigh In

I am terrible for weighing myself every day. Generally it keeps me on track, but not today. I've been tracking everything, went off the rails a bit on Sunday, but other than that, I've been right on track.

I weigh myself this morning, and I'm up 5 fucking pounds. It's not TOM, I've been drinking all my water and not having a ton of salt. I feel like crying. I'm finally back on track and now I'm heavier than I've been in months.

But I'm still tracking this morning. It's only 10 and I've had half my water already. Toast with a poached egg for breakfast and green salad with tuna for lunch. Zach is going to BBQ us chicken breasts for dinner and I'll make a big salad.

But if I'm up this week, I might kill myself. Just sayin'

Bad Blogger

I'm back. I was right off the rails for the first two weeks of summer. I had a wonderful time but I counted nothing and ate everything I could get my hands on.

But last week I bought a new three month journal and *gasp* I tracked all week. And low and behold...it worked. I lost 1.8, and I wasn't starving myself for the later part of the week to make sure I was down.

My goal is to be down again, which would make me down for two weeks in a row for the first time since Easter. I did slip yesterday (I scarfed down some Swiss chocolate) but I tracked it and moved on. And guess what? I feel freaking great! Amazing how that works

I Did It!

I went to Boston Pizza for dinner and didn't make a disgusting pig of myself. I had the chicken stromboli and green salad and it was only 13 pts.

Just out of curiosity, I looked up what I had last time I was there. It was the crispy chicken and pecan salad. I knew it was going to be not great, but I didn't know it would be this bad.

1150 calories and...(are you ready for this) 93 grams of fat. How do you even get 93 grams of fat into something?

Are you addicted to bacon?

I'm 46%, which is a little surprising because I'm not that biga fan

Created by Recipe Star

*sigh*

I gained 2 lbs this week. I'm officially the exact same weight I was in Feb. So I've spent $256 on weight watchers meetings and haven't lost a pound. In fact, I'm about half a pound heavier.

Next week I have to bring my tracker in. Maybe that will make me start being honest with myself again.

I'm really disappointed and pretty much just feel like eating whatever I want.

I have to get better at updating this

I was so good with my old blog, but I seem to forget about this one all the time.

Let me catch you up. Last WI...down 2 lbs! I worked really hard so I was pretty happy about it.

The I went camping *sigh*. We had a great time, but I got no exercise and ate like it was my last meal on earth, all weekend. I had Pizza Hut on the way up there, chips when we got there, hot dogs, smores...you name it, I ate it.

Now I'm frantically trying to undue to damage before my WI in tomorrow...I think I'm up the 2 lbs I lost last week.

I'm so mad at myself. I worked really hard to lose that weight and now I feel like I'm back to square one. I have no idea why I continue to do this to myself. I've been going to meetings for 20 freaking weeks, and have lost 13.5 lbs. It's pathetic. I'm exactly where I was at Easter.

If I'm going to continue to spend $16 a week (which we really can't afford), then I need to be serious about this.

Trouble is, I have no idea where to start. Maybe if I keep looking at this face, I can do it for him

So not worth the points

This is what I ate at 8:30 last night. A Raspberry Truffle Blizzard. It was pretty good, but not worth the 17 points.

Yep, 17 points for a medium. 760 calories, 29 grams of fat and 1 gram of fiber (and I'm wondering where the fiber came from).

And for the price I could have bought a tub of Ben and Jerry's, which is worth the points.

So off DQ now (and glad today is the start of a new WW week so I can resent my weekly point allowance without this taking half of them)

WI this week

Down 1.2

I'll take it, but according to my scale at home, it was more like 2.5. Clearly I'll go with the ww scale, but I liked mine better.

I'm still within the losing guidelines, but I'm not super happy with my progress. 11.6 lbs in 18 weeks. But I have to keep telling myself, if I weren't going, I would probably be up 20 lbs