Today's WI

clearly not counting points doesn't work. I was up 1 this morning, making my total loss 9.5 lbs...since January :(
I'm in a total funk. And now I'm starting to feel sick. I have a headache and feel like puking. Sadly for me, Jude doesn't care and still wants lunch :)

But we're going camping for the long weekend, which should hopefully be relaxing and fun...just what the doctor ordered.

So I'm off to the green grocer this afternoon to buy a bunch of fruit and veggies to take. It's too hot to eat so that should help with the whole "lifestyle change" thing this weekend.

I think I'm going to take a break

not from my blog, but from the GDT. I think it's making me anxious. There seems to be a lot of snarkiness and meanness on their the last few days, and it's not helping. In the words of Elle "this place is making me eat".

I'll keep writing here, but I think the GDT is toxic right now.

This is so hard

I'm having a really tough go of this right now. We eat out at other people's houses a lot. Last week it was 5 times. At home I can control myself...when we go out for appies for dinner, the gloves are off.

Plus I'm feeling like shit right now because my MS is acting up. My feet are so sore I can barely walk when I get up in the mornings. They're fine once I get going, but the first 10 minutes is agony. And if Jude wakes up crying in the night...I limp around the house getting a bottle ready and just want to cry. Couple that with my total exhaustion due to both the heat and stupid MS, and I'm about ready to quit.

Counting points is not high on my agenda of things that need to be done during the day. So for now, I'm going to keep going to my meetings, be mindful of what I eat, but go easy on myself until I go back to normal. It usually only takes a couple of weeks. So my goal for the next month is to maintain and not gain it all back.

Keep in check ladies!

A little NSV for me

We went shopping in Nanaimo yesterday. It's about 90 minutes away. We had lunch in the mall food court, which is usually super hard for me. And to make matters worse, they had Indian Food in the food court. We don't have any fast food curry in Victoria, and it's pretty much my favourite thing in the whole world.

I had a turkey sub from subway on whole wheat bread, and I'm compromising by making Better Butter Chicken from ESBM for dinner tonight instead.

Yay me!

Stupid Fucking Weigh In

errrr. I was up. Luckily I've decided not to kill myself.

I was good this week. A couple of slip ups on Sunday when I went to a friends house for girls night and ate my weight in appies.

Then last night hit. I went to my parents for dinner. BBQ'd chicken and salads. I can cope with that.

Well, the BBQ broke. So we had to cook everything in the oven, including the veggies I was roasting and it took forever. It was after 9 when we ate. And of course by then I was starving and I ate too much.

I was up 2.8 fucking pounds this morning. I know it was because of last night, but it's so disappointing when I finally get back on track and then have such a huge gain. It's the biggest gain I've ever had, even on the weeks when I wasn't counting points at all.

It's very disheartening. But I'm back at it. Tomorrow is another week.

Weighing In Before Weigh In

I am terrible for weighing myself every day. Generally it keeps me on track, but not today. I've been tracking everything, went off the rails a bit on Sunday, but other than that, I've been right on track.

I weigh myself this morning, and I'm up 5 fucking pounds. It's not TOM, I've been drinking all my water and not having a ton of salt. I feel like crying. I'm finally back on track and now I'm heavier than I've been in months.

But I'm still tracking this morning. It's only 10 and I've had half my water already. Toast with a poached egg for breakfast and green salad with tuna for lunch. Zach is going to BBQ us chicken breasts for dinner and I'll make a big salad.

But if I'm up this week, I might kill myself. Just sayin'

Bad Blogger

I'm back. I was right off the rails for the first two weeks of summer. I had a wonderful time but I counted nothing and ate everything I could get my hands on.

But last week I bought a new three month journal and *gasp* I tracked all week. And low and behold...it worked. I lost 1.8, and I wasn't starving myself for the later part of the week to make sure I was down.

My goal is to be down again, which would make me down for two weeks in a row for the first time since Easter. I did slip yesterday (I scarfed down some Swiss chocolate) but I tracked it and moved on. And guess what? I feel freaking great! Amazing how that works