I thought recycling was supposed to be good?

Because I'm pretty sure it's going to be the downfall of my marriage. Zach has minimal jobs around the house. Pretty much all he has to do is change the kitty litter, and take out the garbage and the recycling.

We're going to Mexico on Friday and we have housesitters coming to stay with the kitties. So I'm cleaning like mad so it looks like my house is always neat and tidy. I go to take out some recycling, and low and behold, the bin is full...and it's recycling day. Now when I say bin, I don't mean a rubbermaid tub.

I mean the wood bin that Zach built that holds 5 of those giant blue boxes (the ones we aren't allowed to use anymore that are about 2.5 feet tall). The bin is so full, that the lid won't lay flat. Clearly, the recycling hasn't been taken out for, oh about three months.

So I look at my watch and realize I have about two hours before the recycling douches come (I have a love hate relationship with the recycling guys. I love that they pick up the recycling by the curb, but I hate pretty much everything else about them. If you looked up douche bag in the dictionary, their picture would be there).

Anyway, back to the story. I run in (still in my pj's), give Jude a bottle and put him down. I know I have 1 hour, 45 minutes to get the recycling down to the street. Keep in mind there's almost an acre between our house and the street, and the truck has the camper on it so I can't use to haul all this shit down there.

I spend the next hour sorting it all out (because in addition to it being full, it's also not sorted at all. It's not even in the bins, just tossed in there). I fit it all in random cardboard boxes and the two smaller containers that they'll take.

I have a few last pieces of cardboard, and I jam them in the big container, thinking maybe out of the kindness of their heart, they'll take them, even though they're in the wrong container (I thought wrong). I get all this shit off the porch and our landlord comes and saves the day. He offered to take them to the curb in his truck, thus saving me hauling 7 containers of recycling to the curb (I'm still in my pj's and now I'm sweating like a pig).

I go back inside to hear Jude hollering at the top of his lungs. He'd clearly been awake for a while and was not impressed that I hadn't come to get him up. So now I'm standing in the kitchen, sweat running down my face, my pjs are filthy, I smell like a bottle depot and I'm holding a crying baby and now the phone is ringing.

It's Zach.

him "watcha doing?"

me "wondering how I'll be able to afford to live when I divorce you...did you forget (again) that it's recycling day????

He will now owe me for months, and if he forgets to take it out again, I might forget to make dinner for a few weeks :)

He's lucky he's cute

Tuesday's Grievance

people who buy Expeditions (or other ridiculous and uselessly giant vehicles), should all be forced to sign a waiver saying that if they part their house sized SUV in a small car spot, they will forfeit their right to own it, and it will be seized.

*this note is directed to the douche bag who parked next to me at Blockbuster, thereby making it impossible to get Jude out of the car*

*disclaimer* this is not said douche bags car, but this picture did make me giggle

A bit off topic...

but I need some baby advice. I want to cut out the night time bottle. Jude is almost 10 months, and I go back to work in 2 weeks and I'm not too into getting up with him anymore. Plus I'm sure he's eating it out of habit and not needing it. But I'm also going to have to break Zach of the bottle habit. He's as adicted to giving Jude a bottle as Jude is to getting one.

Last night it was Zach's turn to get up with him and he ate three freaking bottles in the night! I couldn't believe it when I got up this morning and saw all the empties lined up.

Plus heating up bottles in the night in Mexico is going to be a pain in the ass.

So any suggestions? He just woke up (after being in bed for about an hour) and screamed his head off so I gave him some water in a bottle and that seemed to work (and he only drank 2 ounces as opposed to the 20 ounces he drank last night).

It's just so hard to say no to this face

I'm hooked...

on hiking. Jude got a baby backpack and I'm finding it's great to go out with him in it. He's happy to sit in there for a long time and just look around.
I'm not into doing anything giant (like Mt Finlayson), but I'm interested in finding new places to go with him. I usually have to go alone so no where scary.

Where do you hike?

Maybe getting back to normal will help

I have one great day when I'm totally on program, tracking everything, getting lots of exercise...then 2 weeks of being totally off the wagon.

Now it's a week until we arrive in Mexico, and I've only managed to lose about three pounds. I wanted to lose 20. But the new development is I'm going back to work as soon as we get back. Mexico is my last hurrah after being off work for almost 18 months.

I'm hoping having some sort of routine will maybe be the key to getting back on track. I know it's helped me in the past. I'm also hoping to try and start the couch potato to 5 km plan when I get back. When I used to run I had a much easier time losing weight. And now Jude is old enough to go in the jogging stroller, so that makes things a bit easier.

Plus my sister is doing the Victoria Marathon the day after we get back. Obviously I'm going to go and cheer her on, so I'm hoping seeing all those people do such an amazing run will also inspire me!

back on the wagon before the caravan leaves me behind

Who think I can lose 80 pounds in 7 weeks? *sigh* Me either.

I'm thinking maybe 20 if I work really hard. We're going to the Viva Wyndham Maya on the Mexican Mayan Riviera on Oct 3rd for 7 days. So I'd like to lose as much as I can.

I'm going back to my meetings next week and I'm going to ask to start again. I want a new book, all new material (that I might actually read this time), and I'm going to have a fresh start.

I toyed with the idea of doing it on my own, but I really think I need the accountability of meetings.

I'm also thinking that I might start running again next week. But that's going to depend on my back (which is still super sore from my fall).

Help me keep my ass in gear ladies!

Campin Was a Bust (in more ways than one)

We had a fabulous time. The weather was great, the campsite was amazing, we had our own private beach. We canoed and swam, and of course ate.

Jude went in his hiking backpack for the first time (here's a pic of my sister and I and our wee ones in their "packpacks", as Anna calls them).

Then, because I'm possibly the most accident prone person on earth, disaster struck. Let me premise this story by telling you about our camping stairs. We have a little rubbermaid stool that's very stable. So I asked Zach to bring it to use as the camper stairs, but for some reason he thought I wanted him to bring this rickety old wooden step ladder. This ladder was so rickety that the kids weren't allowed on it, and we didn't carry the kids into the camper. We went up first and got someone to pass them in. And thank god we did, because the last morning we were there, they broke just as I stepped on them off the tail gate.

The whole time we were there I went down them holding onto the handle on the back of the camper. But of course this time I had Jude's oatmeal in one hand and a bowl of yogurt in the other hand for Anna.

I fell about three feet and landed hard. I hit the ground without bracing myself, knocked myself out and then had a small seizure. When I tried to get up, my right leg was paralyzed and I had to pull on my PJ legs to move my leg and get help into a chair. I also wet myself when I had the seizure.

Of course we were three hours from home. And Zach was beside himself because he thought it was his fault for bringing the shoddy stairs (which of course it wasn't).

So we moved Jude's car seat into my sister and her husbands car and she took both babies home so we could go to the hospital once we got back to Victoria. But I started to feel better on the way home so we opted to just hit up the clinic.

Long story short, no long term damage was done. I have a giant goose egg on my head, but no broken ribs or anything. However, my back, shoulder and neck are killing me. Zach stayed home yesterday but he had to go back to work today, and my sister is coming over but not until after lunch. So Jude and I are fending for ourselves. I'm in quite a bit of pain, but he's being a really good boy and we'll manage until Alex and little Anna get here.

I'm just glad it happened at the end of the weekend.

But here are some pictures because I want to remember the great parts of the weekend before the fall.

Oh, and needless to say, I'm eating whatever is handy. There's no cooking going on in this house, and I won't be going to my meeting this week because getting Jude in and out of the car is too much for me. But next week I'll be there!










baby Jude enjoying some fresh air in his exersaucer










Anna loving the whistle on her new life jacket more than she loved her first canoe ride











Jude playing with Anna and Auntie Alex on the top bunk

Today's WI

clearly not counting points doesn't work. I was up 1 this morning, making my total loss 9.5 lbs...since January :(
I'm in a total funk. And now I'm starting to feel sick. I have a headache and feel like puking. Sadly for me, Jude doesn't care and still wants lunch :)

But we're going camping for the long weekend, which should hopefully be relaxing and fun...just what the doctor ordered.

So I'm off to the green grocer this afternoon to buy a bunch of fruit and veggies to take. It's too hot to eat so that should help with the whole "lifestyle change" thing this weekend.

I think I'm going to take a break

not from my blog, but from the GDT. I think it's making me anxious. There seems to be a lot of snarkiness and meanness on their the last few days, and it's not helping. In the words of Elle "this place is making me eat".

I'll keep writing here, but I think the GDT is toxic right now.

This is so hard

I'm having a really tough go of this right now. We eat out at other people's houses a lot. Last week it was 5 times. At home I can control myself...when we go out for appies for dinner, the gloves are off.

Plus I'm feeling like shit right now because my MS is acting up. My feet are so sore I can barely walk when I get up in the mornings. They're fine once I get going, but the first 10 minutes is agony. And if Jude wakes up crying in the night...I limp around the house getting a bottle ready and just want to cry. Couple that with my total exhaustion due to both the heat and stupid MS, and I'm about ready to quit.

Counting points is not high on my agenda of things that need to be done during the day. So for now, I'm going to keep going to my meetings, be mindful of what I eat, but go easy on myself until I go back to normal. It usually only takes a couple of weeks. So my goal for the next month is to maintain and not gain it all back.

Keep in check ladies!

A little NSV for me

We went shopping in Nanaimo yesterday. It's about 90 minutes away. We had lunch in the mall food court, which is usually super hard for me. And to make matters worse, they had Indian Food in the food court. We don't have any fast food curry in Victoria, and it's pretty much my favourite thing in the whole world.

I had a turkey sub from subway on whole wheat bread, and I'm compromising by making Better Butter Chicken from ESBM for dinner tonight instead.

Yay me!

Stupid Fucking Weigh In

errrr. I was up. Luckily I've decided not to kill myself.

I was good this week. A couple of slip ups on Sunday when I went to a friends house for girls night and ate my weight in appies.

Then last night hit. I went to my parents for dinner. BBQ'd chicken and salads. I can cope with that.

Well, the BBQ broke. So we had to cook everything in the oven, including the veggies I was roasting and it took forever. It was after 9 when we ate. And of course by then I was starving and I ate too much.

I was up 2.8 fucking pounds this morning. I know it was because of last night, but it's so disappointing when I finally get back on track and then have such a huge gain. It's the biggest gain I've ever had, even on the weeks when I wasn't counting points at all.

It's very disheartening. But I'm back at it. Tomorrow is another week.

Weighing In Before Weigh In

I am terrible for weighing myself every day. Generally it keeps me on track, but not today. I've been tracking everything, went off the rails a bit on Sunday, but other than that, I've been right on track.

I weigh myself this morning, and I'm up 5 fucking pounds. It's not TOM, I've been drinking all my water and not having a ton of salt. I feel like crying. I'm finally back on track and now I'm heavier than I've been in months.

But I'm still tracking this morning. It's only 10 and I've had half my water already. Toast with a poached egg for breakfast and green salad with tuna for lunch. Zach is going to BBQ us chicken breasts for dinner and I'll make a big salad.

But if I'm up this week, I might kill myself. Just sayin'

Bad Blogger

I'm back. I was right off the rails for the first two weeks of summer. I had a wonderful time but I counted nothing and ate everything I could get my hands on.

But last week I bought a new three month journal and *gasp* I tracked all week. And low and behold...it worked. I lost 1.8, and I wasn't starving myself for the later part of the week to make sure I was down.

My goal is to be down again, which would make me down for two weeks in a row for the first time since Easter. I did slip yesterday (I scarfed down some Swiss chocolate) but I tracked it and moved on. And guess what? I feel freaking great! Amazing how that works

I Did It!

I went to Boston Pizza for dinner and didn't make a disgusting pig of myself. I had the chicken stromboli and green salad and it was only 13 pts.

Just out of curiosity, I looked up what I had last time I was there. It was the crispy chicken and pecan salad. I knew it was going to be not great, but I didn't know it would be this bad.

1150 calories and...(are you ready for this) 93 grams of fat. How do you even get 93 grams of fat into something?

Are you addicted to bacon?

I'm 46%, which is a little surprising because I'm not that biga fan

Created by Recipe Star

*sigh*

I gained 2 lbs this week. I'm officially the exact same weight I was in Feb. So I've spent $256 on weight watchers meetings and haven't lost a pound. In fact, I'm about half a pound heavier.

Next week I have to bring my tracker in. Maybe that will make me start being honest with myself again.

I'm really disappointed and pretty much just feel like eating whatever I want.

I have to get better at updating this

I was so good with my old blog, but I seem to forget about this one all the time.

Let me catch you up. Last WI...down 2 lbs! I worked really hard so I was pretty happy about it.

The I went camping *sigh*. We had a great time, but I got no exercise and ate like it was my last meal on earth, all weekend. I had Pizza Hut on the way up there, chips when we got there, hot dogs, smores...you name it, I ate it.

Now I'm frantically trying to undue to damage before my WI in tomorrow...I think I'm up the 2 lbs I lost last week.

I'm so mad at myself. I worked really hard to lose that weight and now I feel like I'm back to square one. I have no idea why I continue to do this to myself. I've been going to meetings for 20 freaking weeks, and have lost 13.5 lbs. It's pathetic. I'm exactly where I was at Easter.

If I'm going to continue to spend $16 a week (which we really can't afford), then I need to be serious about this.

Trouble is, I have no idea where to start. Maybe if I keep looking at this face, I can do it for him

So not worth the points

This is what I ate at 8:30 last night. A Raspberry Truffle Blizzard. It was pretty good, but not worth the 17 points.

Yep, 17 points for a medium. 760 calories, 29 grams of fat and 1 gram of fiber (and I'm wondering where the fiber came from).

And for the price I could have bought a tub of Ben and Jerry's, which is worth the points.

So off DQ now (and glad today is the start of a new WW week so I can resent my weekly point allowance without this taking half of them)

WI this week

Down 1.2

I'll take it, but according to my scale at home, it was more like 2.5. Clearly I'll go with the ww scale, but I liked mine better.

I'm still within the losing guidelines, but I'm not super happy with my progress. 11.6 lbs in 18 weeks. But I have to keep telling myself, if I weren't going, I would probably be up 20 lbs

Weekends are my downfall

I've known it for a long time, but I'm finally acknowledging it. During the week, I'm 100% OP. Then Friday night hits and I'm right off the rails.

I've tried planning ahead, tracking before hand, and just staying home, but it's so hard, there are so many temptations.

Maybe acknowledging it will help me figure out what I have to do. I wasn't too bad this weekend, but it could have been better. Next weekend I'm going to try carrying my tracker in my purse, and maybe that will keep me on track.

I'm So Mad at Myself

I was up 2.2 lbs this week. I have no idea why I'm having such a hard time with this. I know what I have to do, but I don't do it.
I did have some challenges, like being away last weekend. I tried to make healthy choices, like we went to McDonalds and I got a grilled chicken sandwich. I got out to the car, and we were on the highway, I went to try it, and it wasn't grilled. I couldn't take it back because we were racing for the ferry. But I should have just let Zach eat it and gotten something else later. No more excuses. I weighed myself this morning and I think I've lost most of the 2 lbs, but it's still really frustrating.

I did have a plan for lots of AP's this week, but I went and hurt my ankle so now I can't walk.

But I'm gardening all weekend, so maybe that will get some exercise in. Today is a new day, so I'm off to a new start

This isn't diet related...

but I need somewhere to be able to say how sad I am of the passing of an amazing person. One of my good friends from high school, Erika Heller, passed away today. She was the first person I met when I started at my new school. She was kind and generous from the minute we met, and even though we lost touch for a number of years, I still always considered her a good friend.

She was and always will be one of the most amazing people I've ever met. She was a spokesperson for "Look Good, Feel Better", an organization for women with cancer. She was beautiful inside and out, and made the world a much better place in the 31 short years she was here.

I know you're not in pain anymore Erika. You'll always be remembered.

Update

So I lost 1.8 lbs last week, then was really good Thursday and most of Friday, then it all went to pot over the weekend. I knew it would be hard being away all weekend and not having much money so we'd be eating a lot of fast food. I thought I was prepared, but I guess I wasn't prepared enough.

But when we got to the wedding (after I'd been cheating all day), I got to see one of my best friends who I haven't seen in months. And low and behold, she joined ww and has lost 30 lbs. She looks totally amazing. It was just what I needed to get back on track.

So I vowed to eat right today (which I mostly did, until we went out for dinner) and get back walking tomorrow. Then I pulled my Achilles heel, and now I can hardly stand, let alone walk. Luckily we have no money left from our weekend away, and no food, so that should help in my weight loss this week ;)

Send my good vibes

I weigh in in T minus 5 hours (I need to go back to bed)

I think I did it

I think I managed to go camping and not gain 42 pounds. I was up a bit yesterday morning, but I think I'm back down again today.
Of course the truth will come out on Thursday at my weigh in.

Here's what I did. I shopped smart, bought veggie dogs, whole wheat wraps instead of buns. I took a case of diet pepsi and made a big salad and veggies and dip. I did take two bags of chips, but usually I get one of each flavour, just in case I feel like Dill Pickle chips in the middle of the night.

The other big difference this time, was I got some AP's. On Saturday we went for a big hike up the the Goldstream Train Trestle. It took 2 hours to get there and it's about 150 meters down, so needless to say once we got there, Jude and I stayed safely on solid ground while Zach explored the trestle with our friend Gayle.




Kathy and I (with baby Jude of course) on the train tracks










Zach and Gayle on the trestle





And on Sunday we did a shorter hike in the opposite direction along the stream. Anywho....my point is, I'm pretty darn proud of myself for mostly sticking with it this weekend.

Of course next weekend we're off to Penticton for a wedding, which could be even more challenging! But it's only Tuesday, so I have at least three days to plan for that. But I'd really like to be in the 220's before Canada Day.

Now I'm just going to throw in some brag pictures for shits and giggles :)





My hot husband










our little family

dieting and camping

and there's my problem for the weekend. Food and camping go together like smores and camping, or hotdogs and campfires, or sitting around and drinking beer, or cooking bacon over a camp stove. *sigh* this is how I get myself into trouble.

We bought a new-to-us camper a few weeks ago and are taking it out for it's innagural run this long weekend. But we're being smart about it. We're camping about 20 minutes from our house in case the whole thing goes awry. Baby Jude and camping may not go together as well as say, chips and dip and camping. Oh my god make it stop!

I'm trying to plan ahead. We're only going for two nights, which means we'll probably need to rent a trailer to pull behind the camper with all the baby accessories in it. But food wise we're having steak one night and chicken the next. I'm going to make a big bag of green salad to throw in the fridge, along with some home made dressing and cut up some veggies.

I was going to skip even buying chips, but lets face it, I know I'll just eat someone else's (we're going with a group of people). I'll make soup for lunch, maybe some grilled cheese with light cheese slices (lots of nutritional value there). Otherwise, I'm wide open for suggestions.

I've vowed to avoid the smores, but I'm going to have to have a few beer. Jude is pretty good at keeping me on track there. Nothing like waking up at 5 am with a screaming baby and a screaming hang over!

I sneaked a peek

at the scale, and I was up three pounds *sigh*. I did cheat a lot this weekend (see previous post), but I thought I might have at least broken even.

I have another day to take it off before my weigh in Thursday. I'm going to be tres disappointed if I gain.

I really need to get on here more

I might have to expand this blog to be about things other than weight loss. I'll have to think on that.

So I bought a three month journal last week, and didn't write a thing in it. I went to WI on Thursday and somehow managed to lose 0.2. It was honestly a miracle.

So Friday morning I start tracking...I'm oh so good, track it all, even leave room for a Martini at the end of the day. Go over to a friends house...and then the snacking started. And the tracking stopped.

Enter Saturday. I'm such a good girl, track all morning. Then go out for Mother's Day dinner...the snacking starts, the tracking stops.

So now we're on to Sunday. I don't even pull out the tracker. Zach and Jude took me out for breakfast for my first Mother's Day. Do I order an egg white omelet? Maybe fruit and yogurt? Nope...I go for the gold. Eggs Benny with bacon and mushrooms, hash browns (you know the really good ones, the cubes of deep fried potatoes? those are the ones I got). And because that wasn't enough, I topped it off with an order of sourdough toast. I guess the English Muffin it came with just wasn't enough carbs. I forced Jude to nurse when I got home to try and burn off some of those calories.

So I skipped lunch (because that's healthy). Then we had people over for dinner. I ate chips, a burger and green salad. Now that wasn't so bad, but why stop there? I topped it off with a piece of Boston Cream Pie (which I forgot about until I started typing this).

So I go back to my tracker and decide to try and write down what I had yesterday. I think I ate all my points at breakfast. I was -14 for the day (and don't forget, that didn't include the pie!).

But I'm back on track this morning. I had a cup of coffee and measured out my fat free french vanilla creamer, had a dry English Muffin, an egg and two cheese slices for a grand total of 10 pts for breakfast. Luckily I still get a couple of extra points for nursing and I'm pretty fat so I get a generous DPA anyway :)

Question of the day

Do you count points on your birthday?

so clearly this isn't working

I skipped my meeting last week, but sucked it up and went yesterday. I was only up .6, which I was pretty happy with.

I resolved to get back on track. But then I went to the Keg for a pre-birthday dinner. I managed to consume 56 points, and that isn't counting the cream and sugar in my coffee, or the crab and horseradish sauce on top of my steak, which if I had to guess, would have been at least another 15 points.

I can't believe the amount of fat and calories in Keg food. For instance


three cheese butter (just the butter, not the potato)
364 calories
36.5 grams of fat

the steak (without the sauce)
542 calories
37.5 grams of fat

and best of all, the spinach and artichoke dip
1115 calories
71 grams of fat

and these are all things I ate. I have a wicked food hangover this morning.

But on a plus side, I bought a three month journal at my meeting yesterday. Maybe having an actual book rather than those stupid paper things will help.

My Motivation is on a Slow Boat to China

Here's what I've eaten over the past two days.

Thursday after WI - burger and oven fries for supper. That's not too bad. But it does down hill from there

Friday - A&W for lunch, frozen pizza for dinner, then I went to a Pampered Chef party and had dinner number 2. More pizza (and this one had bacon on it), wine and apples dipped in vanilla flavoured cream cheese (does the apple make it healthy?).

Today - starbucks for breakfast (at least I had the low fat breakfast sandwich). For lunch, little pinwheel wraps, spinach salad, and then (here's the kicker) black forest trifle for dessert. Does one need dessert at lunch? The answer to that is a definite no. For dinner, copious amounts of chips and dip, a beer, steak, baked potato, salad and fruit flan for dessert. That's right. Three meals today, two of them featured dessert.

I am officially gross. And will not lose the 1.8 lbs I gained last week if I keep eating like a fucking pig.

It's Always Worse Than You Think

I only gained 1.8 lbs. I can deal with that. And by "deal with that", I mean start tomorrow. Zach really wants ribs for dinner, so they're in the slow cooker.

I'm gluten for punishment.

My WI

My meeting starts in 4 minutes and I'm sitting in front of the computer in my PJ's. Jude and I are both sick and we had a bit of a sleep in, and now I REALLY don't want to go. I sneaked a peak at the scale this morning, and I think I'm up 4 lbs. In one week. *sigh*

I guess I should get my ass off the couch and go, even if I missed the meeting.

Just one of the Many Reasons...

I love Queen. I too, appreciate a big fat fanny

10 Reasons Why it Sucks to be Fat

1) you have to shop in fat girl stores, and they're uber expensive and the clothes are dumb. For example, all shirts in a fat girl store should have to be worn with a bra. Guess what, if you have to shop there, you have to wear a bra. End of story
2) it sucks to get your picture taken. I always think I look thinner than I am. Then I get my picture taken. Image shattered
3)You can't wear cute sun dresses
4) bathing suits (need I say more?)
5) when I nurse the baby, I'm far more concerned with making sure my fat stomach is covered than my boobs.
6) you have to pay double on some airlines if you fat encroaches on some else's seat
7) you feel like everyone is looking at you when you chow down on a Big Mac
8) people ask if you if you're knocked up when your kid is 12
9) walking up stairs makes you lose your breath
10) you look and feel like shit

Maybe this will motivate me to stay on track. Feel free to add to this list. I plan on looking back at it next time I want to order pizza for dinner.

Here I Go Again

I've actually only been off track for a week, but I figure this will get me going again.

Here's my stats. One year ago, (today actually) I found out I was pregnant. I weighed 255 lbs. Today, I have an adorable 4 month old son, and weigh 231.8 lbs, so I'm pretty darn happy with that.

But I need to stay accountable, and keep on track. I really want to skip my meeting tomorrow, but I need to take my lumps *sigh*

Here's today's breakfast
2 cups raisin bran (6 pts)
1/2 cup 2% milk (1 pt)

For lunch I'm planning on salad

Dinner,
roast chicken
potatoes
salad
frozen peas

I get 39 pts a day, so I should be good to go